The love that binds us as family

“Family, like branches in a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one."

The past week was such an enjoyable one spending time with family. My niece (dare I say it “ my favourite one”), Ronelle, her husband and her three kids as well as her mum which is my youngest sibling flew from Melbourne to spend time at our home on the Gold Coast. Although we connect with phone calls, WhatsApp and other social media platforms, there is nothing like spending time with family in the flesh. It was sad to deliver them to the airport this morning for their flights back home.

I can only imagine what a wonderful time it is for all you grand dudes and glam mas out there who have grandies. Grandchildren are so delightful and far too clever the way they navigate their way in entertaining themselves on their own. It was too hysterical to see how the 9, 6 and 4 year-olds summoned Sirree’s help for downloading games on their electronic devices, putting on their favourite shows on TV or even asking Sirree for help to write the recounts that I set for them. As revered elders, we have become redundant as Google has usurped our time-honoured place of being the free flowing fountains of knowledge. With our own kids, we have high expectations and we rarely smile before Christmas but with the grandchildren, all rules seem to go out of the door. My usually fastidious house transformed into a veritable play school area overnight with books, activity pads, games and big soft toys and for the whole week, the chaotic, cluttered space didn’t seem to matter. It was such a happy place.

It was great catching up with my baby sister too as we reminisced about old times rehashing happy childhood memories and remembering special moments of our dearly departed parents. My sister, Babes, read long excerpts from my late dad’s diaries which he kept religiously and depending on the content, this brought on bouts of raucous laughter, moistened eyes or smiles of gratitude. Our daughters rolled their eyes collectively as they realised that the youth are no different from one generation to another as they heard of our escapades. Although our connection is mandatory because of our shared DNA, it is such a blessing to share the same wavelength as friends too. We are both sport fanatics and enjoyed cheering for the old guard like Nadal and Federer and barracked for bad-boy-turned-good, Nick Kyrgios, in the first week of the Australian Open tennis. Our only point of difference is she’s a Man United supporter( after all, she is human and has her failings) while I am riding the high waves with my Liverpool team at the moment. We enjoyed some alone sister moments and sister selfies by fitting in a road trip to Byron Bay, lunch, a massage session and a good movie(“Just Mercy”).

Very few people know us as our siblings do as they have seen us in our batty, most embarrassing, vulnerable and raw moments. Our shared childhood where we didn’t exactly enjoy life’s luxuries but grew up in a home with a lot of good, old-fashioned values and a lot of love ensures that we know and understand each other like no-one else does. There are indeed a lot of benefits of doing life with a sibling but perhaps the most important one is being guaranteed a supportive, life-long bond. As different as our lives are now, the threads of our blood, childhood memories and shared interests meshes together to create this colourful and artistic fabric of sisterhood.

It is always such a treat to spend time with my niece, Ronelle. Although we are in touch every week through technology, it is so heart-warming to observe at close range what an incredibly awesome mum she is to her three kids. Her kids are so well behaved and listen the first time - not sure how she learnt the art of positive discipline but she’s doing a fine job with her supportive, school teacher husband, Mitch.

The hustle and bustle of life usually gets in the way of modern living but it is important to make time to spend dedicated time with family. It nourishes your body, soul and spirit in a way that no shop bought luxury can. As I pen this piece, confirmed reports of the sudden passing away of basketball legend, Kobe Bryant, who has perished in a helicopter accident is filtering through. It brings home the poignant reminder of how fragile life is and to appreciate our loved ones, especially family, by reconnecting in the flesh regularly.

Many changes happen within family: marriage, children, deaths, achievements, celebrations, heartache, sickness etc but the constant is that we start and end with the love that binds us as family. Enjoy time with your own family and take time to pencil in a family reunion with your parents and siblings at least once a year. Have a fabulous week, Folks.

Why you need a goal instead of a New Year's Resolution

Consider setting goals instead of making New Year’s Resolutions

Are you still working on your New Year’s Resolutions? Congratulations if you are. Statistics show that only about 25% of the population who set New Year’s Resolutions are still at it after three weeks and of this lot only 8% will complete their targets they set out at the start of the year. These are rather grim statistics, aren’t they? As they say, nothing changes if nothing changes so perhaps an idea would be to look at the topic of resolutions a bit differently.

You see, the reason why we give up on resolutions so easily is because they are too broad and vague and therefore unattainable. And of course, because we look at it as a New YEAR’S resolution, we resign ourselves with starting again the following year if we fail prematurely.

For this year, don’t be part of the pitiful statistics; set goals instead of resolutions. A goal, unlike a resolution, is more specific and more measurable therefore you are more likely to keep it up. You also can set a time limit for 30 days or 90 days and if you slip up, you still have a chance to have another go.

Another way to ensure that you achieve your goal, is to break it into small achievable steps. For example if you plan to lose weight, firstly try and make it a specific goal like: I will lose 10 kilograms in 60 days. Then, write down the steps that you need to take to work towards this goal like working on a meal plan, doing exercises, foods to avoid, adopting healthier eating habits etc

Make sure you set aside some time each week to revisit this goal and tick off what you did well and what you need to work on the next week. Consider keeping a resolution (insert “goal” here) journal, where you can record your successes and struggles. Write down the reasons why you are working toward your goal so that you can refer to them during times when you feel uninspired and unmotivated. The good thing about working on a goal instead of a resolution is that if you experience a setback, you can start all over again.

It is absolutely necessary to set a SMART goal in order to achieve success. Without this, you are like the driver who hops into their car without a roadmap and drives without knowing where they are going. They drive and drive and then get so confused or overwhelmed at which point they quit and head for home.

Next week I will try and illustrate with an example how to set a SMART goal that is easily achievable. If you have a goal you wish to work on ( or for another family member or friend), and need some help, I am more than happy to assist as I have a lot of experience in goal setting. (You may send a private message).

As we move onto the fourth week of the year, please revisit your resolution if you have ditched it already. There’s still another 49 weeks to give it another go. Have a fabulous week, folks!

The importance of travel

Travel makes you modest. It makes you see what a tiny place you occupy in the world - Gustave Flaubert

I am so happy at the moment as I am experiencing such an enjoyable holiday on one of the most beautiful Pacific Islands, Fiji. For this week’s motivational message, I would like to enlighten you on the absolutely amazing benefits of travel.

Firstly, travel really opens your mind. It clears up any misconceptions or prejudices that you have of people that don’t look like you. Usually we tend to judge people by the standards of our own country and far too often we exercise ethnocentric attitudes where we feel that we are better than them. When you travel and see these “foreign” people in their own country, you develop a new-found respect for them. You get to appreciate their values and beliefs that are not necessarily in line with yours but are still noble and ethical. Travel teaches you to be more tolerant and empathetic.

Secondly, travel helps you to take a break from your daily routine. There are the accompanying stresses of work life in whatever field you are in. Sometimes, you tend to get a bit jaded with the daily “same old, same old”. Travel allows you a window of opportunity to escape from the humdrum of life so that you can reset, recalibrate, rejuvenate and recharge for another term or year at work. Travel also allows you to step back and reflect on problems at work so on your return, you can find solutions. It also teaches you to focus on the big picture and not to sweat the small stuff.

Another reason to travel is that it sharpens your creativity. In a new place where you are completely out of your comfort zone, you are met with certain challenges and you need to figure out how to overcome obstacles. New neural pathways are created in the brain because of the new stimuli and the cognition that’s involved to tackle new problems. On your return home, you tend to be more creative and resourceful. It is amazing how many little bits and pieces of ingenuity you pick up in new places that you have visited.

Further, travel helps to broaden your mind. Although reading books or surfing the net or even interacting on social media platforms introduces you to other places, there’s nothing like experiencing first-hand encounters with people, cultures and terrains of different lands. Especially these days when news reports are so biased, you can be more discerning about what you read or hear because you have actually been there.

Perhaps the most important thing about travel for me, personally, is that it allows you to appreciate the exquisite beauty of our most beautiful universe. To stand back and observe the scintillating beauty of a sunset in another land, gasp at the extraordinarily, breath-taking vista that presents itself below from the peak of a mountain or be mesmerised about the psychedelic colour palette found in the feathers of a sub-tropical bird and then to mouth an involuntary “wow” - this is what travel does. Travelling to less developed countries and appreciating their natural environment that is still untouched by industrialisation makes you more determined to bolster your efforts in saving our planet. You also appreciate the resourcefulness of people that have to do without and realise that a container is a container and your cupboard doesn’t have to be matchy matchy and colour co- ordinated. Reuse, recycle and reduce.

One of the weirdest things about travel is the more you leave home, the more you appreciate what you left behind and what you have. Home is a special place and inasmuch you have enjoyed your time abroad, there is no better place than home which is the beautiful Gold Coast in sunny Queensland for me. When you return home you feel you don’t really care about the triple convection oven, nor do you need to drool over the latest four by four vehicle in one of the new sexy colours or yearn for that sparkling, diamond bracelet that looked so tantalising in the brochure - it really doesn’t matter because once you have visited a third world country you realise you are already living like a king anyway. Accumulating material things doesn’t really matter as Mark Twain so rightly says, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Hopefully, you pencil in some time for travel this year. It doesn’t have to be fancy or abroad; even a day trip to a new place can have amazing, therapeutic benefits. Have a fabulous week and a fantastic year ahead, folks.