“ Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what is even scarier? Regret.” Zig Ziglar
You see, from a young age we are groomed to think that winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win, isn’t that so? Therefore, we stick our heels in and tolerate unpleasant jobs, toxic relationships and life-sucking habits because we are taught to do the “right thing” and persevere. If we leave, ditch someone or give up a way of life , it goes counter to deeply held beliefs of our previous generations. Financial stability, upward mobility and social status favours the workhouse who holds in there for dear life.
However, when life becomes unmanageable and some do quit because of a bad job or relationship, it is understandable. When the heat is too hot, we get out of the kitchen. That’s what we do. The reason we are gobsmacked with Ash Barty’s announcement of early retirement, is because she is in winning form. This is something we are not used to. Australia’s homegrown tennis queen is a lady after my own heart. It is not my intention to trivialise Ash’s stardom or to compare a nonentity like me to an elite sportswoman but I, too, have followed my own heart and made sudden decisions to leave even though life was so rosy.
We were living in South Africa in a lovely house in a middle-class, suburban neighbourhood, our family completed (that’s what I thought!) with two delightful boys under three years of age and both my husband and I in high school teaching jobs. Life was good and very cosy. After fourteen years of teaching, I suddenly got the feeling that getting up to go to school was not sparking my joy anymore. The teaching fraternity in South Africa in 1998 became very unionised with chalk downs, slow-downs and shut downs. This was further compounded by in-house school politics. Fortuitously, a newspaper article notifying about a seminar on teaching overseas caught my eye and barely six months later, two parents with two children on their hips and four suitcases made their way to the other side of the world to New Zealand to start a new life.
We quickly settled to the strange but oh-so-satisfying New Zealand life with teaching jobs and the boys attending the local daycare centre. I was at the top of my element in my dream job as Head of English at the local, high school. We lived in a custom built, modern house on a sprawling two and half acre homestead on top of the hill overlooking vineyards. Through divine intervention, I was pregnant with my third child. Could life get any better?
Two weeks before my daughter was born, I was on maternity leave and was watching what we now refer to as 9/11 - the terrifying and disturbing images of the hijacked airplanes by Al Qaeda flying into the Twin Towers buildings in New York City. I was numb with the horror of what was going on. I called my principal and notified him I was resigning as Head of English with immediate effect. He advised me it was a rash decision and that I should wait for the baby to be born before I thought about quitting. He reasoned that I had a year’s maternity leave due and there was no reason to quit now. He probably thought my hormones were working overtime too to reach such a sudden decision with such finality. The terrorist attack taught me that life could end tomorrow and I needed to discover other joys that life had to offer.
Two weeks after the news that rocked the world, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl and a few days later I handed in my resignation. The 9/11 disaster underlined how unpredictable life was and there were many more dreams I wanted to fulfil. The first year of my daughter’s life was one of the happiest and most productive years where I studied part time for a post graduate diploma to be a professional writer(something I always wanted to do but didn’t have the time) and I had so much fun renovating a property which we flipped for almost twice my annual teacher’s salary(and tax free too!). I got to stay at home and take care of my daughter - a wonderful bonding experience which may be why we are so close now!
Sometimes you have to quit to win. There are only 24 hours in a day, only so many years in a lifetime and if we don’t quit, where is the time to realise our many dreams? When are we going to do the things that really matter? It is a human tendency that we have in thinking that we stand to lose so much after we have invested so much time, effort and money in a certain pursuit. It is probably the reason why we have certain professionals like engineers, accountants or medical practitioners who are reluctant to leave their career path no matter how disenchanted or unhappy they are. We seem to know what our loss will amount to by leaving but can’t seem to envision the gains we may make by stepping into unchartered territories.
Life in New Zealand was a blissful existence in the countryside but it didn’t stop me making the sudden decision to sell up and trek cross the Tasman to make a new home on the Gold Coast, Australia. After completing the required hours of teaching, I was offered a permanent position in the maths department at the local high school. I turned the much sought after position down because I decided to work smarter, not harder. Teaching at a school did not nurture my creativity with its characteristic bureaucracy and my curiosity of dipping my toes into the tempting waters of the business world , was piqued. It was time to go.
Throw away the coffee that tastes bitter, leave the restaurant if the meal is not too your taste, quit that book that doesn’t take you anywhere. Get out of that cinema if the film is boring - doesn’t matter that you paid for those tickets. You deserve better! A few years ago I paid an arm and a leg for my husband and I to attend a Tony Robbins seminar in Sydney which included flights, hotel accommodation and the event fee which alone was around $3500 each. Barely a few minutes after registration, the seminar started and we were asked to jump up and down in wild abandon to blaring, ear-deafening music and then hug random strangers next to us. I just upped and left. This was not my style. My husband couldn’t believe I did this and there were three more days besides this to go! I quit while my husband continued to attend ( suited more his gregarious personality) but the upside was I got to spend three glorious days with my son who lives in Sydney doing touristy jaunts - that was priceless!
With the recent, event of the Corona virus pandemic which has introduced a “new normal” way of life, it is perhaps a good time to get rid of old beliefs and realise that quitting while you are ahead is not a bad thing after all. We should stop associating quitting with failure. If your soul tells you it is time to go, just go. Have faith that everything will work out for the better. When we cast away long held beliefs, we allow ourselves to grow and to live in joyful harmony of body, spirit and soul.
Thank you to Australia’s humble, Aussie sports star who is teaching us that it is okay to jump out even when the dream machine is running on well oiled wheels. Have a super week, Folks, and remember to follow the beat of your own drum.
#winnersdon’tquit #followyourheart #followthebeatofyourowndrum
