Last night I stayed up late, well past midnight, to watch the funeral of the late Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, who passed away peacefully just two months short of his 100 th birthday. Prince Philip shares the distinct honour of being the longest serving royal consort and was married to Queen Elizabeth for an impressive 73 years. For more than seven decades he had to play second fiddle to his wife. Pretty much like Bill Clinton, Denis Thatcher or New Zealand prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, whose partner’s name I still don’t even know. Yet while Prince Philip was a shadow to his wife in public life, always by her side but remembering to walk two steps behind, he defined a new type of masculine ideal.
While his wife portrayed a powerful image in public, it is quite well known that he ruled the roost at home. Yet, alpha male as he was as evidenced by his excellence as a navy seal, his physical sporting interests, a driver of fast cars, pilot of his own planes and his brusque, no- nonsense manner, he seemed quite at ease in his beta role fading into the sidelines while his spouse basked in the limelight. He was content to be behind her just serving a life of duty and devotion. Even though he experienced the emasculation of being the only man in Britain whose children couldn’t bear his surname (“Am I just an amoeba?” As he famously said) and suffering the indignity of kneeling down to his wife at her coronation promising to be her “liege and limb” (see I know all my facts about the prince having watched The Crown series on Netflix), he respected and honoured his wife’s role even though she represented the crown.
With his propensity for racist and sexist remarks in public (although the British press prefer to refer to these euphemistically as “gaffes”), he showed the world what it is to be a pillar to the most powerful woman in the world. What an honour then to have an American, the ex-president of the United States, Barack Obama say this of him on Twitter: “Prince Phillip showed the world what it meant to be a supportive husband to a powerful woman. He also found a way to lead without demanding the spotlight — serving in combat in World War II, commanding a frigate in the Royal Navy, and tirelessly touring the world to champion British industry and excellence. Through his extraordinary example, he proved that true partnership has room for both ambition and selflessness — all in service of something greater”. Now, I wish I could have put this accolade as eloquently as that.
Even though we are now in the 21st century where few seem to bat an eyelid to same sex marriages, his role was still an invidious one in the patriarchal society he was a part of: he had to support his wife in her role as reigning monarch but at the same time realise it was just a supportive role and it could never be anything more. She alone was accountable for her public duties and frustrated as he oft times would have naturally been, he never besmirched his Lillibet in public - always according her the love and adulation he showered on her when he first met her when she was just thirteen and he, a young 18-year old navy cadet.
There’s this famous saying that goes, “Behind every successful man, there’s a strong woman”, but certainly the roles were reversed for the man who held the number 1 passport of Great Britain ( the Queen does not need a passport). In her 69 years as the longest reigning monarch, the queen even attested to the strength he gave her at their 50th wedding anniversary: “He has, quite simply, been my strength and stay all these years. I, and his whole family, and this and many other countries, owe him a debt greater than he would ever claim, or we shall ever know.” Flattering words indeed from a woman who is well known for not wearing her heart on her sleeve.
Philippos Schleswig-Holstein Sonderburg-Glucksburg , the Greek prince in exile who became the Duke of Edinburgh when he married Princess Elizabeth in 1947 was happy to be the “home boy” - a title that most supposed modern men feel a bit touchy about. He set up a kitchen at home and prepared breakfast for his four kids when their mother, the queen, was out on state duties. He was also known to take care of the interior decorating of all the homes they resided in. Even when his mind was not on the task at hand, like accompanying the queen to horse races which he detested, he rigged a radio in his top hat from which he could listen to the cricket. The important thing was that he was at his wife’s side nodding and smiling at the right times, isn’t it?
In one episode of The Crown when Princess Diana is very depressed and Prince Philip tries to console her, he confides in her by admitting that he also feels like an outsider and a nonentity in the Royal system when he talks of the queen as: “She is the oxygen we all breathe, the essence of all of our duties.” He is saying that the queen is the only one who matters and his long marriage attests to the fact that he learnt very early on in his marriage the truth of “happy wife, happy life”. One thing is clear though, politically incorrect as he was known to be, the queen could not have performed her role as well if he had not performed his. If she said “jump” and he failed to respond with “how high”, I fear their marriage would have surely walked down the same path as that of three of their four children’s failed ones.
In view of the all the scandals that have been played out in the Royal house through the years, the British monarchy owes Prince Philip an enormous thank you for being the glue that not only kept the Firm together but also because of his magnanimous gesture of being the man that he was and to feel it was quite okay to walk two steps behind his wife. Some say he was a racist, some say he was a bigot, some say he was a grumpy old man who didn’t suffer fools. I say he was a real man who had enough faith in his manhood to know that it didn’t really matter that he had to stand while his wife sat, he had to stay silent while she spoke, he had to stand in the shade while she shone in the spotlight and he had so willingly given up his promising naval career to support her role as the queen.
So for the prince who was born on a dining room table in the little Greek island of Corfu but who would never become a king, we say goodbye as we remember you as a a real man who championed the rights of women (albeit it unconsciously) well before your time. Vale, your royal Highness, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.
#princephilip
