Trippin' with the Kandasamys

 

As rom-coms go, I am not really a fan of it and I certainly don’t favour funny movies whether the humour is dark, deprecating, observational, surreal or topical. So why would I choose to watch “Trippin with the Kandasamys”with its unimaginative brand of slapstick (the worse kind in my books!) and situational humour punctuated occasionally with its acerbic one-liners? Well, as an ex-South African living away from the motherland, it allows you a nostalgic journey back home and provides cosy comfort for all things familiar.

In the Covid-pandemic scenario with travel restrictions in place, it has been awhile since we visited home and this movie serves as a wonderful conduit to connect us back to our roots in Chatsworth. With its shenanigans, slang and slander, you have to be a South African with an Indian heritage to fully appreciate this 90-minute feature length movie because a large part of the comedic element is derived from its social relevance. No wonder as to why my daughter who was born in New Zealand does not find it funny.

“Trippin with the Kandasamys” is the third in the series of the Kandasamys franchise with its debut “Keeping up with the Kandasamys” released in 2017 followed by “Kandasamys:The Wedding” in 2019. After the love story in the first movie, the wedding subject in the sequel, I anticipated that this successive one would graduate to the much anticipated arrival of the first grandchild and the associated drama that goes with it but I was far off the mark.

In “Trippin with the Kandasamys”, the two best friends turned in-laws, Jennifer Kandasamy and Shanthi Naidoo plan a couples’ getaway to an upmarket, seaside resort to spice up their wilting marriages and celebrate Shanthi’s 50th birthday. However, they are in for an unpleasant surprise when they realise that the husbands have planned to bring the rest of their families along to celebrate the 50th birthday bash. The cat amongst the pigeons turns out to be Shanthi’s sister-in-law, Baby, who also joins in and with her gorgeous looks fans the flames of the ladies’ jealousy as their husbands’ necks voluntarily rotate far too often towards this piece of eye candy.

As with the previous feature films in the franchise, the general plot is predictable but script writers, Jayen Moodley and Rory Booth, exalt the storyline this time around by interweaving several serious themes like marital upheaval, infertility, misogyny and infidelity expertly stitching comedy and drama to create a beautiful tapestry of a slice of life in Chassies. Whereas the previous franchises relied heavily on exaggerated stereotypes and melodramatic characterisations, “Trippin with the Kandasamys” seem to have achieved a maturity in terms of its plot, dialogue, thematic explorations and portrayal of familial relationships.

Unlike the rest of my family who are known to convulse in side-splitting laughter at the slightest hint of humour, I grudgingly chuckle even at the funniest bits. However, I am not sure whether it was a case of nostalgia or not but I actually snorted in laughter more times than I would like to admit; especially with the incongruities that contributed to the humour like the soccer refereeing that Aya helps out with at the tennis match especially the “fourball” call when Dhesan gets a hit down under, or when Preggie gives out clues for the name of the song in the quiz game “feel it in my fingers, feel it in my toes” and Aya shouts out “arthritis”. Watching the movie was a visceral experience as you wanted to jump up and bust your moves when you heard the strains of “Burnout” or get up and give Preggie (Ugan Naidoo) a klap each time he asked Shanthie to “organise some tea” or smash his head with the same saucepans he gave his wife for her 50th birthday.

While the flashy, open top and SUV Mercedes’, the luxury holiday resort destination, recreational pursuits in the form of tennis and golf and designer clothing labels testify how far along the Indian race has come in terms of their upward social mobility, some things still say the same which contributed hugely to the humour like when an eight-sleeper accommodation was booked in the oh-so-gorgeous San Lameer and Aya says it is not a problem to take in more guests because “for Indians, you double the number” or when Shanthie stuffs her bag with the resort’s complimentary toiletries and states “it’s not a holiday if we don’t take all the free things”. Or when Aya(Mariam Bassa) comments on Jennifer’s accent she adopts when speaking on the phone, “she talks like that to the whites too”. Too hilarious!

This movie with female director, Jayen Moodley, certainly has the stamp of women empowerment as evidenced by the dominant relationship played out by the two lead actresses who are so unlike each other. Both the female leads, the snobbish, classy and educated Jennifer(Jailoshini Naidoo) and the larger than life Shanthi(Maeshni Naicker) whose loud colours and busy floral prints amplifies her presence ten-fold, are as disparate as orchids and marigolds but they find their solidarity in womanhood as wives and mothers battling for what they rightfully believe is theirs. The chemistry in the relationship between the two matriarchs is palpable with scintillating performances by Jayloshini Naidoo and Maeshini Naicker. Even Aya’s witty one liners couldn’t eclipse the scene in the bush when both the ladies have their go at bird calls.

Although the men played decidedly supportive roles in this sequel compared to their spouses, their contribution was nevertheless integral to the success of this comedy. Veteran actor, Koobeshan Naidoo, who played Elvis, Jennifer’s husband, doesn’t need dialogue to make his presence felt as the understated nuances in his movement, facial expressions and gestures were expertly portrayed and spoke louder than words ever could. Madhushan Singh who plays Prishen, the medical doctor son, has certainly matured as an actor and put on a convincing performance of new age husband to Jodi, acted by the mesmerising beauty, Mishqah Parthiephal who was equally believable in her role of new bride. What a contrast in terms of attitude towards marriage is represented in the father-son relationship between Preggie “Organise the tea, Shanthi” and his offspring, Prishen “Communication is the key”. Moodley offers us hope that things are a-changing for our daughters and grand daughters who can one day say goodbye to patriarchal traditions. The charasmatic Mariam Bassa was my hands-down favourite actor in the previous movies but whose thunder was unceremoniously overshadowed by the dynamic duo of Jayloshini and Maeshni in this sequel and although she doesn’t get an Oscar from me this time, her advice of “Wake up!” with its accompanying, symbolic hand gesture was unequivocally the single, most funniest moment for me. (Preggie’s “slaaning” his new shoes came a close second!)

So, on the whole, as a person sharing a double diaspora of Indian and African heritage and having emigrated some 23 years ago, it really warmed the cockles of my heart to be in oneness with culture, cuisine, customs and conversations that were so achingly familiar in the span of an hour and a half’s viewing. Covid put paid to travel to the homeland but Netflix brought Chatsworth and treasured memories into our lounge rooms and for that I am truly grateful. Well done to all associated with “Trippin with the Kandasamys” and eagerly looking forward to welcoming the baby in the next instalment.


#trippinwiththekandasamys #thekandasamys #moviereview #netflixmoviereview

It’s never too late to dream

“If you can dream it, you can achieve it”.                           Walt Disney

During a lesson with one of my students this past week, a profound conversation unfolded which I immediately thought would make a great motivational subject to kickstart the week. Liam, an adult student, 23 years of age, called in  a few weeks ago for some tuition in literacy and numeracy. I asked him to come in for an assessment where he scored a reading age of just under 6 years. Like many students, Liam (not his real name) didn’t grasp the mechanics of reading in his earlier school years and as it happens in the school system, students are promoted from one grade to the other even graduating with a year 12 certificate  while barely being able to read. 

He enrolled for three lessons a week and we teach him reading, maths and for one of the lessons I try to work on life skills. In the last week, Liam had to write down some of his life goals and one of his goals was to get a qualificiation in business. I asked him whether he wanted to open a business and he replied that the family owns a business already and he was hoping to take control of it and manage it one day. At this point, I asked him what sort of business and he responded, “You’re a smart lady. With my surname you should have worked it out by now.” I didn’t have a clue and coerced him to tell me. Turns out that I rent the premise for my tuition business at the shopping centre his family owns. What do you know! This is not the profound part - what is, is the fact for someone who can barely read, he has the dream to overcome his lack of education and go on to run this big ( and it is really big!) corporation. I was really moved with his intent. 

The lesson continued where I reminded him that while it is okay to dream big, a dream is actually a goal with a plan and a deadline  in place. We then redefined his aspiration into a SMART goal - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely. We also worked on what sort of business study he would enter into (Property Management) and what were the requirements to one day enrol for that course. For now, Liam has to work on a functional level of literacy and numeracy before we look at the next step. In the last three weeks that Liam has been enrolled, he has turned up on time for every single lesson three times a week, put in the effort and has completed all homework. With his strong desire and commitment to the goal, I am very confident that he will realise his dreams. 

Similarly,  few years ago, a lady rang me and told me that her husband is 57 years old, has a job with the council but cannot be promoted because he can’t read or write. He grew up in a remote farming district where he was just taught to count and sign his name as that was all the skills that he needed to count the sheep on his family farm. He was enrolled for reading and attended as regular as clockwork two evenings a week after work. Within 18 months he had acquired a functional level of literacy being able to read, write and spelI. I must confess his tutor and I were prouder than him when the lights switched on in terms of his literacy. 

So often, things go awry in life and for whatever reason some people do not attain an acceptable level of literacy or numeracy. They could have had learning difficulties like dyslexia, dysgraphia, attention deficit disorder etc. or experienced some domestic circumstances that hindered the progress of reading and writing. Like I always say there are some activities in life that you can simply quit if you are not good at it like sport, singing, doing art or handcrafts, cooking, gardening or performance. However, when it comes to the fundamentals of reading and writing, you can’t just give up because your whole life is dependent on it. 

Can you imagine what life is for someone who can’t read? Every part of your day requires you to do some reading to achieve a task. Liam shared with me during another conversation that he just orders what the others are having when he eats out at a restaurant because the words on the menu doesn’t make any sense to him. I am so looking forward to shouting Liam lunch in the not too distant future when he can order his own choice of meal from the menu. 

One of the most heartening movies I watched on Netflix was “The First Grader” directed by Justin Chadwick and written by Ann Peacock which tells the remarkable true story of Kimani Ng’ang’a Maruge, an illiterate member of the Kikuyu tribe in Kenya who enrolled in a rural primary school in 2003, when he was 84. In 2002, the Kenyan government announced free education for all and the ex- war veteran and farmer rocks up at the school eager to learn. However, there are lots of obstacles in his quest for learning where parents complain about an old man fraternising with their children. Thankfully, his teacher becomes the old man’s champion and privately teaches him to read while ignoring the other forces working against them. Some scenes in the movie really tugs at your heartstrings when this octogenarian is struggling to learn his letters and numbers to the amusement of his six-year old classmates. Maruge, after many stops and starts went on to pass the 6th standard before he passed on from stomach cancer in 2009. What an inspiration! 

Maruge holds the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest person at 84 years to start primary school. This proves beyond any doubt that it is never too late to start dreaming. It does not matter how old you are, you too, can pursue a dream that you didn’t have the time for, couldn’t afford or because circumstances didn’t allow. So what are you waiting for? As Sean Stephenson so eloquently puts it: “If you have a heartbeat, there’s still time to dream.”

 Have a fabulous week as we close off the month of May, Folks! Dare to dream!

Always at her side but Two Steps Behind

Last night I stayed up late, well past midnight,  to watch the funeral of the late Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, who passed away peacefully just two months short of his 100 th birthday. Prince Philip shares the distinct honour of being the longest serving royal consort and was married to Queen Elizabeth for an impressive 73 years. For more than seven decades he had to play second fiddle to his wife. Pretty much like Bill Clinton, Denis Thatcher or New Zealand prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, whose partner’s name I still don’t even know. Yet while Prince Philip was a shadow to his wife in public life, always by her side but remembering to walk two steps behind, he defined a new type of masculine ideal. 

While his wife portrayed a powerful image in public, it is quite well known that he ruled the roost at home. Yet, alpha male as he was as evidenced by his excellence as a navy seal, his physical sporting interests, a driver of fast cars,  pilot of his own planes and his brusque, no- nonsense manner, he seemed quite at ease in his beta role fading into the sidelines while his spouse basked in the limelight. He was content to be behind her just serving a life of duty and devotion. Even though he experienced the emasculation of being the only man in Britain whose children couldn’t bear his surname (“Am I just an amoeba?” As he famously said) and suffering the indignity of kneeling down to his wife at her coronation promising to be her “liege and limb” (see I know all my facts about the prince having watched The Crown series on Netflix), he respected and honoured his wife’s role even though she represented the crown. 

With his propensity for racist and sexist remarks in public (although the British press prefer to refer to these euphemistically as “gaffes”), he showed the world what it is to be a pillar to the most powerful woman in the world. What an honour then to have an American, the ex-president of the United States, Barack Obama say this of him on Twitter: “Prince Phillip showed the world what it meant to be a supportive husband to a powerful woman. He also found a way to lead without demanding the spotlight — serving in combat in World War II, commanding a frigate in the Royal Navy, and tirelessly touring the world to champion British industry and excellence. Through his extraordinary example, he proved that true partnership has room for both ambition and selflessness — all in service of something greater”. Now, I wish I could have put this accolade as eloquently as that. 

Even though we are now in the 21st century where few seem to bat an eyelid to same sex marriages, his role was still an invidious one in the patriarchal society he was a part of: he had to support his wife in her role as reigning monarch but at the same time realise it was just a supportive role and it could never be anything more. She alone was accountable for her public duties and frustrated as he oft times would have naturally been, he never besmirched his Lillibet in public - always according her the love and adulation he showered on her when he first met her when she was just thirteen and he, a young 18-year old navy cadet. 

There’s this famous saying that goes, “Behind every successful man, there’s a strong woman”, but certainly the roles were reversed for the man who held the number 1 passport of Great Britain ( the Queen does not need a passport). In her 69 years as the longest reigning monarch, the queen even attested to the strength he gave her at their 50th wedding anniversary: “He has, quite simply, been my strength and stay all these years. I, and his whole family, and this and many other countries, owe him a debt greater than he would ever claim, or we shall ever know.” Flattering words indeed from a woman who is well known for not wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

Philippos Schleswig-Holstein Sonderburg-Glucksburg , the Greek prince in exile who became the Duke of Edinburgh when he married Princess Elizabeth in 1947 was happy to be the “home boy” - a title that most supposed modern men feel a bit touchy about. He set up a kitchen at home and prepared breakfast for his four kids when their mother, the queen, was out on state duties. He was also known to take care of the interior decorating of all the homes they resided in. Even when his mind was not on the task at hand, like accompanying the queen to horse races which he detested, he rigged a radio in his top hat from which he could listen to the cricket. The important thing was that he was at his wife’s side nodding and smiling at the right times, isn’t it? 

In one episode of The Crown when Princess Diana is very depressed and Prince Philip tries to console her, he confides in her by admitting that he also feels like an outsider and a nonentity in the Royal system when he talks of the queen as: “She is the oxygen we all breathe, the essence of all of our duties.” He is saying that the queen is the only one who matters and his long marriage attests to the fact that he learnt very early on in his marriage the truth of “happy wife, happy life”. One thing is clear though, politically incorrect as he was known to be, the queen could not have performed her role as well if he had not performed his. If she said “jump” and he failed to respond with “how high”, I fear their marriage would have surely walked down the same path as that of three of their four children’s failed ones. 

In view of the all the scandals that have been played out in the Royal house through the years, the British monarchy owes Prince Philip an enormous thank you for being the glue that not only kept the Firm together but also because of his magnanimous gesture of being the man that he was and to feel it was quite okay to walk two steps behind his wife. Some say he was a racist, some say he was a bigot, some say he was a grumpy old man who didn’t suffer fools. I say he was a real man who had enough faith in his manhood to know that it didn’t really matter that he had to stand while his wife sat, he had to stay silent while she spoke, he had to stand in the shade while she shone in the spotlight and he had so willingly given up his promising naval career to support her role as the queen. 

So for the prince who was born on a dining room table in the little Greek island of Corfu but who would never become a king, we say goodbye as we remember you as a a real man who championed the rights of women (albeit it unconsciously) well before your time. Vale, your royal Highness, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. 

#princephilip

From your Valentine

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt”             

                 Charles M Schulz

Today, February 14th, is celebrated as Valentine’s Day in the modern calendar and while many associate this heart-shaped festivity with red roses, plush toys, romantic dinners or decadent confectionary, its origins are actually dark, depressing and down right bloody. 

There are oft-repeated backstories to this significant date but the most popular one refers to a story that tells of Saint Valentine who was a Christian and who lived in the 3rd century AD. He came to the aid of persecuted Christians by marrying them in secret in the pagan-controlled Rome.  

At this time in history, many Romans were converting to Christianity, but the Emperor Claudius II was a pagan and created strict laws about what Christians were allowed to do. Claudius believed that Roman soldiers should be completely devoted to Rome for he thought wives and children would  be an unnecessary distraction and therefore passed a law preventing them from marrying. St Valentine began to marry these soldiers in secret Christian ceremonies and this was the beginning of his reputation for believing in the importance of love. Eventually, Valentine was found out and jailed for his crimes against Claudius. While imprisoned, Valentine cared for his fellow prisoners and also his jailor's blind daughter. 

According to legend, Roman Emperor Claudius II, interrogated Valentine in person and  attempted to convert him to paganism. Valentine refused and, in turn, attempted to convert Claudius to Christianity, an act that did not go over well and which resulted in Valentine being sentenced to death. Before his execution, however, St Valentine cured his jailer’s daughter of blindness, inspiring the jailer and his household to convert to Christianity. An additional legend states that Valentine wrote a letter to the jailer’s daughter, Julia, signing as “Your Valentine”. This was to mark the first ever “Valentine card” which the card company Hallmark popularised to secure their millions.

It was only 200 years later though when Rome became Christian that the the Pope proclaimed St Valentine’s Day to commemorate the stamping out of paganism. Later, Chaucer, the poet from the Middle Ages linked St Valentine to romantic love. Since then people sent cards lovingly created with love symbols like hearts, Cupids and flowers and accompanied by sentimental verse expressing their affection for their loved one. 

Fast forward to modern day, and Valentine’s Day, goes hand-in-enclasped-hand with sugary concoctions that can spike the glucose levels with a mere look, 

flawless diamonds whose brilliant luminescence threatens to blind , bunches, bouquets or boxes of sickly sweet red roses, fuzzy teddy bears in candy-floss pinks and sizzling scarlets, luxurious hotel stays in exotic locations and of course, the over the top ones with love declarations  in the form of flashing billboards, coloured smoke emitted by jet planes that spells “I love you” or committing to a marriage proposal from the top of the mountain or from the depths of the sea. Whatever the expression of love is in tangible terms, the common denominator is the amount of affection expressed is directly proportional to the price-tag to secure the bespoke gift: slick, marketing machine mentality nurtured by commercial outlets. 

Closer to home in the Naidoo household, Valentine’s Day takes on a whole new meaning. When we first emigrated to New Zealand, the boys were 3 and 1 year olds. With the absence of a family support system or house help for that matter, there was no one to babysit so the entire family went out for dinner and my husband bought gifts and cards for  the kids and I. Yours truly don’t do gifts maybe because I believe every day is an opportunity to show your love or I am not the sentimental kind. Since then, with the introduction of our daughter to the clan,  it has become a tradition with the Naidooz where the love for family is celebrated or more appropriately the love of the father for his family as he is the only one who takes the care to sort out breakfast, book the lunch or dinner dates and buys the gifts and write the messages on the cards. How lucky are we!

Now, if you know me, around this time in the piece is a moral message so here goes. While Valentine’s Day is made out to be a day characterised by warm, fuzzy feelings and gifts for the one you love, it is also the day that brings the most pain and suffering to those that feel unloved: couples who feel stuck  in loveless relationships, family who have been robbed of the love of their dearly departed, the elusiveness of love in the realisation that you are single yet again, the  suffering of the pains of rejection from an unrequited love situation, the painful pricks of hurt by someone who doesn’t show gratitude for the love you showed them in deeds or otherwise, the loneliness endured by parents after being forgotten by the children whom they lovingly reared, the pangs of loneliness of the student who feels ignored by the teacher no matter how hard they try or the worker who is overlooked for a promotion they think they deserve. 

If you are one of the lucky ones who feel the love on this Valentine’s Day, spare a thought to those who are aching for some love today and sprinkle a little happiness their way. I can guarantee you that their mega-watt smile because of your caring will far eclipse the dazzling brilliance of any store-bought, diamond. 

Have a LOVE-ly day, my lovelies. 

#valentinesday